This is 40 Over 40… meet Justine

Justine came into the campaign looking for a way to really step into, and celebrate her body.

Living with an energy-sucking neurological disorder since her teens, Justine told me that she felt she was on the verge of ‘losing her girlhood’ while ‘never having enjoyed the so-called fruits of womanhood’. She wanted to step out of her comfort zone and create some artistic nude images - but was also very scared of the thought of actually doing that!

We talked about the difference between being naked and being nude, the history of classic art being the nude female form, and ways in which we could celebrate and document her body without feeling like a bug on a pin. We wanted to create an energy of joy, celebration, whimsy and art around her images, after all, Justine is a beautifully talented artist herself. And throughout it all, the experience of the shoot itself had to feel uplifting - safe, playful and the kind of memories she would want to revisit.

Finding a balance between feeling safe, over-exerting herself physically, creating some clothed images she could gift her parents, and truly seeing herself liberated and free in her naked form was a beautiful co-creative process. The day of her shoot there was lots of laughter, short naps, big courage and even dancing.

Justine has granted permission for some of her images to be shared here, and on my website and other platforms, for which I am grateful. Some of the images you’ll never see here, or anywhere on my platforms, are for her only, and are also some of my favourite work.

Elizabeth Gilbert once wrote, in Big Magic that ‘every human being has a story that would rip your heart right open’ and when I read that, my heart knew it to be true. It’s something I believe in deeply. I think Justine’s shoot will always be memorable to me because she came with the intention of creating something beautiful for her own benefit - so that she could see the magic she knew was there all along on the days it was most hidden from her view.

As part of the experience of the campaign, each of the 40 women featured were asked to share their thoughts in response to 10 questions, as I want to share each woman’s story, in her own words, and show that we are so much more than just pretty pictures.

Here’s what Justine has to say…

What is 'beautiful' to you? What do you think that means? And when do you feel most beautiful?

I think beauty is a purity and honesty of expression of the beingness of a thing. I feel most beautiful when I am expressing something true with clarity and someone shows me that they see me and appreciate me.

What are you most looking forward to as you get older?

I'm most looking forward to letting in simple confidence, flexibility to change and courage to claim my space.

If you had the chance to say something to your younger self, what would it be?

You often know what you think, but when you are seeking direction, remember to count your own view as strongly as you do others'. When you speak an opinion strongly, you will likely have done a lot of thinking to get to that point. But other people can be emphatic without that much thought. They may be very confident in their views, but they may still be wrong, or wrong for you. You see more subtleties, nuances, details and points of view than many people do. Listen to and understand your heart and your quiet inner knowing, as well as using your reasoning, when you are seeking direction. And if you get this message in Year 10 – your art teacher who is going on and on about pulling up your socks and putting in the work and taking your studies more seriously actually isn't talking to you, though you are probably the only one in your class who is listening! You can stop listening to him griping, stop trying so hard and just enjoy doing art!

Do you have a significant moment when you started to love / value yourself?

I am fortunate that I grew up with parents who loved and valued me, so it was natural for me to love and value myself. However, as I faced the headwind of living with a chronic illness that wiped out many opportunities to express my skills and talents, I had to learn to love my body too. Until my late 20s, I pushed my body as hard as I could, so that I could do as much as I possibly could. Even so, I was unable to do a quarter of the normal and expected things in life. I was trying so hard, but unwittingly was being hard and harsh to myself. At that point, prompted by a wise doctor, I stopped pushing myself every moment of every day. I began to listen to my body and emotions, and to learn how to live with my more natural energy level. Although I do even less than before, I feel like I am living more. Instead of feeling like my body is against me, I now feel that she is doing her best for me. I think that was a significant moment which has continued to grow as I continue to tune in to and respect my whole self. I want to acknowledge and thank the handful of special people who have had faith in me and shared their wisdom with me over the years.

How has your relationship to the role of Motherhood changed you?

Growing up, I expected I'd have kids. In my 20s I hoped to have kids. In my 30s I feared I wouldn't have kids. Now, well, I've accepted I won't have kids. I allow myself to still feel my belonging to that feminine capacity in the human race. I acknowledge to myself that I have the energy of mothering in me. I quietly think about women throughout history who  haven't been mothers and all the reasons this can happen. I love being Aunty, which isn't the same, but has some of the same heart.

If you could be the woman of your dreams - who would you be? Tell me about her…

She is living in an abundance and fullness of love of all kinds. She is creating wonderful places and buildings for people that support their well being. She has holidays at archaeological digs in interesting places. She is in tune with the cycle of day and night. She lives in a little house close to the natural environment, in a community where people are friendly and have time to connect. She plays music, sings and dances. She is relaxed and responsive and doesn't get caught up in artificial needs. She has a dynamic balance of input and output, novelty and mundanity, activity and restoration, giving and receiving, togetherness and aloneness. She is easily generous and hospitable.

In what ways do you feel like you've gotten better with age? What are the gifts of ageing?

I am better at using less force on myself and operating with more ease, which feels a better way to live. I am better at accepting that what my body needs, it needs. I hope I've gotten better at listening and loving.
Gifts of ageing: finding more and more people who realise that some things cannot be overcome by wanting them harder, believing harder or working harder.

What legacy do you want to leave? If you weren't here tomorrow, how do you want to be remembered?

I'd like to be remembered as being someone who would meet others in an open and honest way, who loved well, who was creative and encouraged others in their creativity, who was both grounded and imaginative, sensible and sensitive, practical and fun, who had good relationships and a gentle freedom to not conform, and who was kind and wise. I better live a while yet!

And lastly - in your own words, tell me your story…

I love to understand the nature of things, to express this understanding creatively, and to connect with others. This expresses itself in many ways - anything from designing my North facing windows and awnings to let the Winter sun flood in while keeping the Summer sun out , to leading a horse joined by nothing but attention and goodwill, to writing and illustrating children's books.

 My story is also about someone who has talents, skills and motivation, but is limited to a tiny amount of expression. I have a chronic illness, ME (myalgic encephalomyelitis), and have had it since my teens. The easiest way to describe my experience with ME is that I'm like a mobile phone with a battery that can't charge more than 10% (but which also has a lot of great apps!). It won't take much imagination to see that this would have a major impact on everything in life. I have learned (and continue to learn!) how to listen to my body and respect her, and to find a way past disappointments to live a joyful life.

 I love when I can be daughter, sister, friend, and especially Aunty. I'd love to love a man. I love designing and making clothes, furniture, pottery, stories and pictures. I'd love to design and make houses. I love to play music. I'd love to dance and sing and act. I am still me when I can only be quiet, still and alone.

 In many ways, I have been invisible to the world through isolation caused by having ME. I love being included in this project, to hold a place among these 40 Over 40 women, a place for women whose stories are going way off script, whose stories may mean they remain mostly unseen, and most especially, to participate in this celebration of the beauty of living.

 I wanted to do this project to honour my me-body for bringing me this far. And to honour that I have done the work to get to this point fairly whole and balanced, with my curiosity, creativity and willingness to love intact. I wanted to have a record of this part of my life.

The photoshoot turned out to be a celebration in itself. The photos from that day show me something wonderful about my whole self – body, mind and spirit.

And if you are wondering how such wonderful pictures can be made on a 10% battery... it took weeks of preparation and weeks of recovery, Fiona's own energy that she brought to the photoshoot in abundance, and her patience as it took ten months to bring this project to what you see here.

Thank you, Fiona, for opening the way for this wonderful experience.

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Want to be part of the campaign?

If you want to be part of the 40 Over 40 project, head over here to read all the details or, go ahead and book your Consult Call. Maybe check out our current campaign all about celebrating your body and discovering your confidence, The Every/Body Campaign - head over there now, I can’t wait to take you through this experience x

With Love + Light, Fiona 🖤

This is 40 Over 40… meet Susan

Sometimes, I feel like I meet an angel.

I know how that sounds. And I’m not trying to be a Hallmark card.

But sometimes, the person standing in front of me is simply full of light. They have dedicated their life to helping others. And they’re simply brimming full of warmth and laughter. Susan is such a person.

I think I told her within a few minutes of meeting her that I just wanted to give her a hug. She has that affect. And so it is perfect that she has dedicated her time and energy to helping new mothers navigate the first few, often difficult steps though parenting. I can only imagine newborns falling blissfully asleep in her arms within moments, and the reassurance I would have felt as a scared new mum myself had Susan been there to guide me with a warm smile and sage advice. To say she has found her calling is an understatement. She was born for this.

Susan’s shoot started slowly, she was nervous - as is everyone - but laughter came easily and soon we had some favourite tunes to bring the mood. I’m a big believer in the power of a simple fan in your hair to make you feel like you’re invincible - try it! - and I felt the need to see Susan enveloped in the wash of beautiful bright light within the studio - dressed all in white, laughing and fully lit up. These first few images of her laughing within this light are some of my all-time favourite. I hope you enjoy reading her story x

As part of the experience of the campaign, each of the 40 women featured were asked to share their thoughts in response to 10 questions, as I want to share each woman’s story, in her own words, and show that we are so much more than just pretty pictures.

Here’s what Susan has to say…

What is 'beautiful' to you? What do you think that means? And when do you feel most beautiful?

Beautiful. To me, beautiful is something you do for someone that makes a positive difference to or for them.

I feel most beautiful when I’m at work.

What are you most looking forward to as you get older?

Watching my children grow and sharing my knowledge and learning new things.

If you had the chance to say something to your younger self, what would it be?

Never be scared to tell the truth no matter how ugly it may e or who it may hurt. Being silent helps no one and may cause endless pain and suffering.

Love yourself and take time to look after yourself.

Do you have a significant moment when you started to love / value yourself?

No, I'm still working on having the ability to do this.

How has your relationship to the role of Motherhood changed you?

It has made me very aware of what was in my own upbringing and how it has impacted on my own abilities as a mother.

If you could be the woman of your dreams - who would you be? Tell me about her…

A woman with self love.

In what ways do you feel like you've gotten better with age? What are the gifts of ageing?

With age I have had time to recognise I needed to heal and start healing myself. I have learnt how to find my own path. Learnt to avoid triggers from my past.

In my eyes, the gifts of ageing are…. Experience, understanding, gratitude and the ability to empower others with your knowledge.

What legacy do you want to leave? If you weren't here tomorrow, how do you want to be remembered?

My legacy would be to have empowered many new parents with great skills and knowledge as they enter parenthood. I would like to be remembered as a person who always spoke her truth, loved her husband and children and was kind and generous.

And lastly - in your own words, tell me your story…

My story.

I was born in a small South Island town in New Zealand. My father was a compulsive Gambler and suspected undiagnosed high functioning autism. My mother was brought up on a successful dairy farm. Her family was close and but had many secrets. I experienced my parents marriage breakdown as a young child and my mother leaving her family home with her four babies under the age of 6 years.

My early school years with only one parent present. During this time there was ongoing episodes of sexual abuse from my grandfather. Around the age of 9 years my mother began a new relationship with the her to-be second husband. He was an old school man but took on mum with all her four children and was mostly very caring and a good provider. But in saying that he was a very angry man who used alcohol often from which resulted in a different kind of abuse in the family home. This made the teenage years very difficult.

School was somewhere to escape home life. But with all of this I learnt many skills as both my parents worked. By the age of 12 I was able to cook, clean, manage laundry and do many chores on the farm. At the time I didn’t appreciate the life skills I received during this time till much later. I left this home at 15 years to live with my biological father and his family. This experience was not what I though it would be either. My stepmother was very jealous of my relationship with my father and made life very difficult with her dislike and disapproval of my living in their home and having to share her new husband and her son. There was lots of emotional and some physical abuse from her too.

As I started my working career and finding my way in the world this is when it became apparent my upbringing differed from many. It wasn’t until I had my own children I was to realise the complete impact of my upbringing. At the age of 19 years I was to tear my shoulder tendon and this wouldn’t be repaired until I was 30 years old. So I experienced chronic pain for many years and I had to rethink my working career as I was unable to continue working in the same field. This is when I trained to become a professional nanny.

This was life changing for me, I realised why people went to university to study if it was a passion of theirs. Then I headed to London on my own at 22 years old after just having met my husband to-be three weeks prior to leaving. My time in London was incredible.

I then returned to marry and continuing my nanny career. Then along came two children who completed our family. Our son was to teach us lots about genetics, being diagnosed with ADHD and Aspergers. I was to experience a difficult birth with my first child our daughter and this resulted in a nasty tear and ongoing bowel issues which are still present today. We all joke about the “code browns” but it isn’t really funny!

We moved to Australia in 2003 and this was very empowering being so removed from my extended family and making it more evident it wasn’t what we wanted for our children to experience. Since working in Australia I have enjoyed a very successful career as a professional maternity nanny. This is my happy place helping new parents with my knowledge and skills learnt in my 30 years experience. I have and I’m still on an incredible journey with our two children. With raising two children on the autism spectrum I have experienced many highs and lows. My son suffered severe bullying during his school years especially high school and suffered morbid depression. There is nothing to prepare you in this situation and I have to admit it nearly broke me watching him during this time and knowing this is life long and everyone has their own path. My daughter continues to amaze me with her endless achievements in what she sets her mind to. With her I mourn the fact that she isn’t into chatting daily and she shows her affection in a very different way.

I continue to this day to provide love and support to my children as they grow into adults. My husband is my rock and I am complete with him by my side.

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Want to be part of the campaign?

If you want to be part of the 40 Over 40 project, head over here to read all the details and register for the campaign. If you’ve already registered but still need to book your Consult Call or your shoot date, head over there now, I can’t wait to take you through this experience x

With Love + Light, Fiona 🖤

This is 40 Over 40… meet Kristina

This, I think we can all agree, has been a year.

For some, the challenges presented by 2020 have been almost academic - something to read about and hear about in the news, but not really anything to have any immediate effect. For others, the effects of this year have been monumental, almost insurmountable. For Kristina and her family, this year has been confrontational and disruptive, and will leave it’s ripples in her family for some time to come.

As a career pilot, Kristina has now been through two industry-levelling events. She had just graduated flight school and was living in the states when the events of 9/11 changed the future of air travel - and her career - forever. As a newly graduated pilot, she became a barista for a time while her industry recovered and emerged anew. After the events of this year and their effects on her (and her husbands!) careers as pilots, she’s vowed to make a change and start afresh with a new direction.

Having spent most of the year separated from her husband by distance (he was on the other side of the globe when the lockdowns and quarantines began, and has been working to get home ever since), she has found herself in the role of sole parent to their 2 children, and seeking a new career for the first time since deciding as a girl that her dream was to be a pilot.

When we spoke on the phone before her shoot, she told me that she wanted a record of this time so that she could look back and see that despite it all, they were still standing, that she had resilience, and that she and her kids knew that they would find strength they didn’t know they had because of this journey. It was right then I knew I couldn’t wait to meet her, and document this time for her to revisit again - when the time was right.

Kristina - thank you for your candour, your vulnerability and your trust. I hope these images and this experience helps you to remember always, that you are indeed a bad-ass 🤘

As part of the experience of the campaign, each of the 40 women featured were asked to share their thoughts in response to 10 questions, as I want to share each woman’s story, in her own words, and show that we are so much more than just pretty pictures.

Here’s what Kristina has to say…

What is 'beautiful' to you? What do you think that means? And when do you feel most beautiful?

I was always taught to use the word 'beautiful' to refer to a person's outward appearance. In my late teens, I certainly didn't see myself as 'beautiful' and I was uncomfortable with the traditional description of the word, so I adapted the word, made it my own, and created a description of a person who exudes kindness. This was comfortable to me, beauty and kindness, synonymous and interchangeable; and it is still how I see beauty today. I still strive to be beautiful and kind, and I find it still a challenge as it draws on me to be softer and gentler than I must be in my professional career.

What are you most looking forward to as you get older?

To not give a shit about as much as I do right now. To let go of the stress of everyday, release 'friends' who are toxic, not care about those extra kilos, to keep a messy house, and to embrace all criticism and openly laugh at awkward and difficult situations. Which all translates to just being comfortable with the person I'm evolving into.

If you had the chance to say something to your younger self, what would it be?

Speaking to my younger self, I would say; " take more chances, don't do what is expected of you, learn to recognize and take all the opportunities you are offered, don't be afraid to say Goodbye...." I look back with the wisdom of hindsight and wish I had taken that job, or returned that call, or taken that chance encounter - my life would have been more rewarding/easier if I'd taken that other path. Instead, I let fear inhibit my actions and leave regrets.

Do you have a significant moment when you started to love / value yourself?

No, I'm not there yet. I'm a work in progress... I do acknowledge the moment when I stopped loving myself! I had made a big decision outside my comfort zone, and it didn't go well, I should have admitted my mistake and yet, I continued to make one bad decision after another until I felt I couldn't ever correct or make it right. One small step at a time to get a better place....

How has your relationship to the role of Motherhood changed you?

It has broken me. I can see now, that being a mother doesn't come naturally, or easily to me. I mother with too much of my own baggage in my words and actions. I'm learning to step back, and let my children forge their own path without my judgement pushing them in a particular direction. Learning I'm just here to guide them, and stop them from injuring themselves is a process I'm working through.

If you could be the woman of your dreams - who would you be? Tell me about her…

She is the definition of Confidence! She can field strip an AK-47 at lunch and make Beef Stroganoff that night for dinner! Eats what she wants, drinks like a fish, and can look after herself in a rough situation. Comfortable in both formal and informal social circles, best friends with her kids and always hanging and having a fun time! She laughs in the face of fear and eats stress for breakfast - she kicks ass everywhere she goes! She is Confidence!

In what ways do you feel like you've gotten better with age? What are the gifts of ageing?

I've learnt to recognize a bad situation for what it is - oh, I still make mistakes, I'm just better and wiser at dealing with the consequences. Errors are not the dramatic be-all and end-all they are in one's younger days. I'm now able to exercise patience and the ability to stop and think of all aspects of a situation and then live with my decision. I wouldn't say one does get smarter with age, just better at using brain cells to look at decisions with patience and wisdom. I'm better at slowing down, which I've been trying to do for years.

What legacy do you want to leave? If you weren't here tomorrow, how do you want to be remembered?

I would love to remembered as a trailblazer, who strove for the unattainable, and achieved it through perseverance, tenacity and resilience. I remember saying to my mother when I was 13 years old; " I'm going to be a flight attendant when I grow up!" She asked why I had chosen that particular profession, and I had replied," because I love aeroplanes so much." She then uttered the words which would change my life, " then why not be a pilot?" I didn't even know girls could be pilots! What a revelation!

And lastly - in your own words, tell me your story…

I've been fortunate to have travelled the world, first with my family and then with my job. I have met extraordinary people in ridiculously amazing circumstances, and have experienced more cultures and adventures than most. From being the first female bellhop in Australia to achieving command as a Captain for an airline in the United States; I've survived two industry crippling events in the last twenty years, remained married through it all, and been blessed with two healthy children. I've returned to Australia seeking a kinder environment for my kids to experience, and now find myself contemplating a career change. I'm going to use this downtime of 2020 as a reflection and a 'RESET' for myself and my attitude. My new goal is to be kinder to myself, my kids and in the words of John Lennon, " let it be, let it be..."

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Want to be part of the campaign?

If you want to be part of the 40 Over 40 project, head over here to read all the details and register for the campaign. If you’ve already registered but still need to book your Consult Call or your shoot date, head over there now, spaces are almost full.

With Love + Light, Fiona 🖤

This is 40 Over 40… meet Michelle

Michelle is the epitome of great things arriving in small packages. Her petite stature told nothing of the fiercely determined, focused and playful person who resides within.

As an author, Michelle has a gift with words. If you read her responses to the campaign questions below, I’m sure the power of her words will tell you that that is truly her wheelhouse, and a skill I covet. We talked of melanoma scars during her shoot - something very ‘Queensland’ to share a bonding experience of unfortunately - and Michelle remarked that she would end up with a pair of matching scars on her shoulder blades, and she joked that it would look like ‘where her wings had been cut off’, as the archetypal image of a fallen angel is no stranger to any of us. I’ve become very conscious that the way we frame things has a HUGE bearing on the way we feel about them, and the effect those stories have on us… So it occurred to me in that moment to offer an alternative narrative - ‘what if it’s where your wings are meant to go in? What if you’ve earned them now, and this is how they come to you?’ And so of course now, all I see when I look at these images is her giant, beautiful wings, nestled unapologetically at her back 🖤

Each of these shoot experiences brings new lessons and discoveries for me - all sources of joy in the end, although sometimes they show up roughly in the moment. But this theme - of re-framing the stories we tell ourselves and the way that shapes our self-perception - is a constantly recurring one, and something that I’m more focused on as I walk this particular path towards living a big bold life of grand design, rather than the one that keeps me safe and small… If you’re looking for inspiration on this same path - take a moment to read Michelle’s words below. Her lessons and takeaways have an elegant wisdom that many of us can take inspiration from x

Michelle - thank you for your vulnerability and trust. There’s not too many people who would happily let me drape them in translucent fabric to realise an artistic itch in the moment - nor see the ‘awesome, creepy, arty, weirdness’ of the finished images (see below!), meant to look like you were drowning in light. I’m humbled by your skill and determination to rise up, and will follow you with eager eyes to see what new horizons you carve a path through, entirely of your own design…

As part of the experience of the campaign, each of the 40 women featured were asked to share their thoughts in response to 10 questions, as I want to share each woman’s story, in her own words, and show that we are so much more than just pretty pictures.

Here’s what Michelle has to say…

What is 'beautiful' to you? What do you think that means? And when do you feel most beautiful?

Beautiful is a feeling. It’s when you look at something or someone and it fills you with such joy that you are overcome with emotion. It’s different for everyone, because our souls recognise beauty in different places, depending on what we find joy in. I feel most beautiful at the beach, because I associate it with freedom and nature.

What are you most looking forward to as you get older?

I’m looking forward to seeing what sort of men my boys become. It will be interesting to see what bits of me they keep and those they replace with their own individual morals and passions. I’m looking forward to learning more about myself and continuing to grow into the woman and mother I want to be. I’m looking forward to getting to stay in my pyjamas all day.

If you had the chance to say something to your younger self, what would it be?

Stop comparing yourself to others. You were never normal. You weren’t born to fit in. Keep looking for the sparkle and glow in life and chase after it. It’s there that you will find friends, ignite passions and become you.

Do you have a significant moment when you started to love / value yourself?

Honestly, it’s a work in progress. For every significant moment that uplifts, there’s another that tears down. I think it’s in that balance that we find our true self, what we stand for and when we start to love ourselves for the fabulous and the flaws.

How has your relationship to the role of Motherhood changed you?

Being a mother is the absolute best thing I have ever done. My boys are my greatest achievement. I’d be lying if I said I don’t still struggle with judgement and blame and disappointment of myself for making mistakes and not being able to give them everything they deserve, but they are my life. They make the world a better place and that makes me the proudest mum ever.

If you could be the woman of your dreams - who would you be? Tell me about her…

I would love to have the self confidence of Michelle Obama, the business smarts of Reece Witherspoon and the sass of Dolly Parton. Having women to look up to and admire is crucial to success and I hope to be that woman for someone else one day.

In what ways do you feel like you've gotten better with age? What are the gifts of ageing?

I don’t compare myself to others. I pick my own battles, even the ones I know I won’t win. I know who and what is deserving of my time. I know who and what things I can change. The gift of ageing is the knowledge, the good and the bad, that the world is both wonderful and terrible at the same time. It’s how we choose to live each day that makes the difference.

What legacy do you want to leave? If you weren't here tomorrow, how do you want to be remembered?

I want to be like glitter. You only have to get near to it once and it sticks with you forever. I want everyone I meet to know how grateful I am to have them in my life, how much I value them just being themselves and what possibilities lie in the power of them believing in their dreams.

And lastly - in your own words, tell me your story…

I am so many different things to so many different people that sometimes I forget who I am. From a young age, I was bullied and shamed for wanting to be bigger, better and best. I became scared to be seen. As I grow I realise there is a freedom that comes with owning who you really are. I refuse to stay small so others can feel better about themselves. I owe it to my children and myself to find out who I am and be unashamedly that. I am Mother, Partner, Family and Friend. I am Author, Business Woman, Philanthropist and Game Changer. I am Grateful, Resilient, Hard Working and Kind. That’s what makes the world bigger, better and best.

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Want to be part of the campaign?

If you want to be part of the 40 Over 40 project, head over here to read all the details and register for the campaign. If you’ve already registered but still need to book your Consult Call or your shoot date, head over there now, spaces are almost full.

With Love + Light, Fiona 🖤

Welcome to 40 Over 40… This is Angie.

Angie was the first woman to have her shoot in this campaign, and it feels so fitting that it was her.

She and I went to school together, and although we weren’t tight then, I remember her well as being the girl who everyone knew by name, because she was kind to everyone. She remembered you. She took the time to chat, and it genuinely felt like she cared.

Brisbane is my home town, but after leaving in 2002 and only just returning in late 2017, I haven’t had the same contact with old friends that I’d have had had I stayed here. One of the beautiful parts about coming back to the place you grew up in is the opportunity to re-meet people from your past and see who they are today. I’ve now photographed a few old school friends, met their families, learned a bit about their stories and got to know the person they’ve become.

Something about the 40 Over 40 campaign spoke to Angie, and I’m so happy that it was within this framework that our paths re-connected, that it was through this experience that I got to meet her again and learn about the woman she is today. Our shoot day had the comfort of old friends meeting again, and also the thrill of strangers getting to know one another, it was a beautiful blend of known and unknown, and just felt like the most authentic way to start this project, which is - after all - about reclaiming a part of you you might have shelved, neglected, lost or forgotten…

Angie - Thank you for your trust. Your willingness to let go and follow me down the rabbit hole lead to the most beautiful moments of play and release. I look at the gallery of images we created that day and I can not choose a favourite, I love them all. As someone who practices behind the camera as well, you were able to understand that your complicity was key to creating the magic we captured, and your willingness to dive deep into the process shows in the images…

As part of the experience of the campaign, each of the 40 women featured were asked to share their thoughts in response to 10 questions, as I want to tell each woman’s story, in her own words, and show that we are so much more than just pretty pictures.

Here’s what Angie has to say…

What is 'beautiful' to you? What do you think that means? And when do you feel most beautiful?

Beautiful to me is someone who is confident and content with themselves. I believe it radiates from the inside and then to the outside, every woman is beautiful as we are unique and no two of us are the same.

What are you most looking forward to as you get older?

Doing the things I love, growing old gracefully, travel more, find that someone to do life with and share the excitement of life’s big days.

If you had the chance to say something to your younger self, what would it be?

Hmmm my younger self...be a little selfish and don’t wait to do the things you dream of, try, fail, succeed and repeat...don’t be fearful of taking leaps, live life, love someone unconditionally and let nothing hold you back. And don’t care what people think. It’s taken me 20 years to work that out!

Do you have a significant moment when you started to love / value yourself?

When I hit my forties, I think for me being on my own forever has its challenges I used to think there must be something wrong seeing I’m still single, am I not enough, pretty enough, talented enough etc blah blah! I realised that it’s ok to ‘love me’ not in a pompous way but self love, you can’t love someone else until you love yourself.

How has your relationship to the role of Motherhood changed you?

Well I’m not a mother ‘yet’ and I used to think I’m not complete because of that, I’m a woman and that’s what I’m meant to do. When I went through a few things a couple of years back I used to get frustrated at God and I’d say ‘if I’m not meant to be a mum I should have been created a man’ ha.. I won’t say that I don’t think that at all now but I know we do get to have the desires of our hearts and we do need to hold onto them and dream, this life ain’t over yet! When my niece was about 2, I remember standing and just looking at her and thinking this little person needs all my love, protection, safety & guidance in the years to come....I felt for a moment what I expect a mother would feel and know that I don’t have to bare a child to feel that. But the love I have is unconditional.

If you could be the woman of your dreams - who would you be?

Rachel McAdams ha...I would imagine she’s beautiful on the inside too and is simply a natural beauty, oh and Tina Arena not only beautiful but she’s genuinely real and says how it is.

In what ways do you feel like you've gotten better with age? What are the gifts of ageing?

Hmmm good genes, my mum looks younger than she is and is a stunning lady & strong. I’m thankful that mum taught me how to look after my skin from an early age and I keep up with that regime everyday. I’d like to grow old gracefully. I think I’m wiser and stronger as I get older.

What legacy do you want to leave? If you weren't here tomorrow, how do you want to be remembered?

Legacy...I used to think what kind of legacy would I leave as I don’t have anyone to leave anything to. Over the last number of years I’ve lost friends and family members and I think everyone has that thought when things like that happen. I’d like to think that my life has impacted someone in a positive way, that I’ve helped someone, loved someone, not with material things but with connection and would leave a ‘tattoo’ on someone’s life that can’t be erased.

And lastly - in your own words, tell me your story…

My story....I grew up living in a number of different places and going to many different schools, a lot happened but that’s another story... I then left school and my first job was in retail for 5 years, I grew up with faith and going to church so when I was 21 I moved to Sydney and went to bible college.. I was down there for a year and then moved back home and worked at my church for 15 years wearing many different hats from PA, book keeper, women’s group leader, involved in music as I love to sing and still do, I’ve always had the desire to help people so a lot of those years were working for a non profit organization as well. After 15 years I moved on and started working at the Refinery where I have been for the last 10 years doing admin and training. I have a dream to give up the day job and move more into my part time jobs such as photography, apron creations, baking... The ultimate icing on the cake would be to have a family, find someone to love and be loved in return and just simply love life. Find that person who gets me ha....
Travel more as I’ve only ever been overseas twice. Life has been a rollercoaster at times but the best days are yet to come!

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Want to be part of the campaign?

If you want to be part of the 40 Over 40 project, head over here to read all the details and register for the campaign. If you’ve already registered but still need to book your Consult Call or your shoot date, head over there now, spaces are almost full.

With Love + Light, Fiona 🖤

Women - get in the picture. Please.

May 9, 2020

I just fell down a serious rabbit-hole on Facebook…

We’ve all been there. It happens. But this feels bigger than just a FB scroll-hole experience to me…

FB showed me my ‘memories’ - a photo taken on this day 7 years ago. It’s a selfie taken with my husband Mark and our then 4mo baby boy, Aiden. Our first baby. Back when it felt like WE were babies. And then it offered me to ‘see more memories’.. and boy, did I bite…

I sat. I scrolled. I oohed. I ahhh-ed. I remembered. And loved, and laughed and - as cheesy and gross as it sounds - I even shed a tear.

My favourite pictures were the ones where I was in a HUGE state of growth and change - when both my babies were still growing inside me, and I had NO IDEA what lay ahead…! I can remember the place they were taken - just selfies on my phone - and what I was feeling, and thinking, and hoping, and fearing… I remember how big I thought I was, and I look now with nothing but awe and appreciation for my body which grew 2 healthy, strong, living babies…

My point is - women, GET IN THE PICTURE. You’ve probably heard me say this a couple of times before, I’m kind of annoying like that. But truly, your favourite pictures are THE ONES YOU TAKE. Not the perfect ones, not the styled ones, not the overly-posed-everything-is-so-perfect-in-our-lives-right-now ones. They’re the messy, real, raw ones that - years from now, when they’re served up as your ‘memories’ - you’ll tear-up looking at them. Because they take you back to a time you want to re-visit. At the time the picture is going to be taken - you’ll need to be strong, your first impulse will be to say NO - my hair isn’t right, I don’t have makeup on, I’m still carrying that extra 4 kilos since blah-blah, etc etc…

This Sunday is Mother’s Day. Some of the social restrictions we’ve made into our new normal these last 6 weeks have finally been eased. You have the opportunity to see people you love this weekend. GET IN THE PICTURE. Go nuts. Take loads of photos, don’t delete any of them. Keep them. Treasure them. Re-visit them.

I promise, there’s a future you who will thank you for it.

What I wouldn’t give for another day with my Grandmother. You best believe I would move heaven and earth for a picture of me and her together where we looked happy, like we were just having fun, being together.

“One day, all your children will have is pictures of you. Make sure you’re in them. It doesn’t matter what your hair looks like, your makeup or your body. They won’t care about any of that. They’ll just want to see you”

For all of you celebrating this Sunday - Happy Mother’s Day. Eat the cake. Drink the wine. Take lots of photos. Enjoy it all xx

With love and light,

Fiona xxx

Gifts From the Heart - Mother's Day done differently during a pandemic

April 30, 2020

If you’re finding your favourite way to kill time, distract yourself, or soak up some inspiration these days is by falling down the scroll-hole of whichever social platform you prefer best, it won’t have escaped your attention that Mother’s Day is just around the corner.

Like most Hallmark Holidays on our yearly calendar, Mother’s Day has had its share of commercialisation. The woman who started it all back in 1908 in West Virginia, Anna Jarvis, ended up later being arrested for protesting the commercialisation of the holiday. She wanted the day to be about sentiment, not profits.

Anna sounds like a woman after my own heart. I truly believe the best gifts are the ones from the heart, not necessarily the store. I think photos make the very best gift ever, as photos truly exist to take you back to a memory, a moment in time that holds meaning for you and the people you love… what better gift could you give or receive?

With that in mind, and coupled with most stores currently being closed with the Covid restrictions, here are some simple, heartfelt Mother’s Day gift ideas that the Mum in your life is guaranteed to truly love.

1. Write A Letter

When was the last time you experienced the joy of going to your letter box to find an actual letter in there, addressed to you? I'm not talking about a birthday card or postcard, I mean an actual LETTER. Chances are, it's been a while since you actually wrote one - and yes, I do mean with pen to paper ideally, but really any way you get this out will be amazing.

So - if you have your Mum - write a letter to your Mum. Tell her the kind of things you think but maybe haven't taken the time to explicitly say to her - like how she's helped you, taught you, comforted you or been there for you when you needed her. Tell her about the wisdom she's given you for your own journey through Motherhood, what it means for you to see her playing with your kids, or what you'd love to do for her in an ideal world... Write your truth, from the heart. I've known too many friends and family that didn't speak these kind of words until they were in a eulogy… please don't wait. Tell her. Write your heart out. Put it in an envelope and put it in the post. Can you imagine the absolute joy of receiving such a letter?

If you've lost your Mum - write a letter to your Mum. Tell her about your life since she passed, the times you miss her most, what you'd most love to do if you had another day together. Keep it for yourself so you can visit those words or even add to them each Mother's Day. If you have kids, write it for the future them so they can get to know her better. 

If you are a Mum - write a letter to yourself 10, 20 or 30 years from now. Write about your hopes for the future, who you used to be before becoming a Mum and where you hope to be within yourself when you open this letter in the future. Or write to your kids, for them to read years from now. About who they are today, what they're in to, funny things they say and do. This will become something for you to re-visit again with them in the future, a trip back through time to these long slow days... Write from the heart, your future self will love this, and will thank you for the time you took to write this today.

2. Frame & Display A Favourite Photo

Chances are you'll have 1 or 2 images (or more) you absolutely adore which are currently sitting trapped somewhere inside a hard drive or dresser-drawer, not being enjoyed. Take a stroll through your digital memories and pick out at least one favourite image that you want to see everyday on your own wall / fridge / bookcase; OR one that can become a beautiful gift to send to your Mum to display in her home.

The culture of enjoying photos these days seems to be in the having of them, not necessarily in the viewing of them. Thank goodness for Facebook memories, serving up our past images for us to see again - isn't it one of the most enjoyable parts of logging on? 

Wherever your precious images are stored, take a moment to wander through, pull out a favourite and make the commitment to print it out and put it on view in your home. This doesn't have to be a costly or painful exercise, you can get decent quality photo prints from places like Harvey Norman or Kmart - yes, I know this is slightly scandalous for a professional photographer to be saying - but these will be the best solution to get your images out from storage and into your world in a real way. And although the quality is not professional standard, for the price and ease they’re well-worth the investment. Sites like Snapfish are easy tools to create photo books and enlargements easily right from your couch, and they deliver right to your door - or to your Mums. 

Photos truly do make the most beautiful gifts, but if they only exist digitally, they aren't being enjoyed. Take a moment and create something that you and your family, or your Mum will love to look at and effortlessly enjoy, every day.

3. Make A Video

This is for when you do stroll you through your photo archive and realise you literally have HUNDREDS of images you want to share or enjoy! Videos make enjoying lots of images fun and easy - especially with a free platform like Animoto. You simply upload your images, put them into the layouts you like best, add any video footage you like or overlay text for names and dates, add music from their selection and wait for their software to serve you up something awesome - it really is that simple.

If you'd like an idea of what's possible with this platform, check out the 2019 studio Retrospective video I made using Animoto here. Oh, and to be clear, I don't get any kickbacks or discounts from any of these guys, there’s no affiliate links here, I'm just happy to recommend great stuff that works.

4. Enter our Draw to Win a Gorgeous Photoshoot

If you haven't already been through the studio to create some gorgeous images of your own, we'd love to see you when restrictions are lifted and we can start creating art again. I truly can’t think of a better gift than to spend the day with the women you love (and of course all the men are welcome too!) creating special memories and images to cherish for generations to come. A photoshoot with me probably isn't like anything you've experienced before - there's no forced, awkward moments or weirdly posed fake-feeling photos. I take the time to actually connect with anyone who stands in front of my camera, to take the fear out of being photographed, and guide you into letting go of all your insecurities so that you can just relax, be present, and truly connect with the people you love. Because when that happens - THAT is truly beautiful - on EVERY human. It’s a day of togetherness, laughter and memories.

Mother's Day holds a special place in my heart because it gives us women a chance to take a moment for ourselves, to honour and celebrate the crazy journey of Motherhood, and connect to the women in our life who've come before us, or are now leading the way. I'd truly love to take you through that experience. 

So - to honour this special day, I’m going to give away a Gift Card for a complimentary photo shoot including professional hair & makeup styling for 2 women. You can bring however many people you like to the shoot. Of course, this will have to be for later in the year when the current restrictions have lifted, but I believe this is something worth waiting for.

If you’d like to win this gorgeous gift (usually valued at $500), simply tell us why this experience would mean the world to you and/or your Mum here and Good Luck xx I’ll be notifying the winner on Saturday 9th May, the day before Mother’s Day.

So, wherever you are, and whatever Mother’s Day means to you, I hope it is beautiful. To all the women who’ve walked this path - to the ones who are Mothers, to the ones who long to be Mothers, to the ones who Mother another’s babes, to the ones whose babes are in heaven, to the ones who lost their Mum, to the ones with shitty Mums, to the ones who should be Mums, to the ones who give the gift of Motherhood to others - you walk on hallowed ground. I hope this day reminds you of the incredible gifts you give to your babes, the resilience you’ve found within yourself and the strength in the softness you bring to this world ❤️

Happy Mother’s Day xx

With love & light, Fiona xx

The End of Busy - business suspended, self-isolation and social distancing - staying sane in a world gone mad…

April 13, 2020

I’ve been numb.

I’ve been avoiding. I’ve been reading, crying, playing with my kids. I’ve been full of false bravado, binge-watching news articles and death tolls, I’ve been day-drinking and napping and distracting.

It’s been exhausting.

Normally (back in The Good Old Days a month ago), I have breakfast out on our back deck, which is surrounded by beautiful gardens and birds and butterflies, nature is my re-charge space. But usually I ‘double-down’ and take the opportunity while I’m eating to check my emails, read that article i’ve been wanting to catch up on, finish the next module of that course I bought, or listen to my favourite speaker on podcast. Not really enjoying my breakfast. Not really giving my full attention to the other thing i’m doing. Certainly not really enjoying our beautiful garden.

But today, I did.

I ONLY ate my breakfast. No book, podcast, email or course. No notes to be written before they’re forgotten, no thoughts that were already elsewhere. I purposely did NOTHING and focused on just BEING. And it was the first moment of real joyfulness I’ve felt in a long time.

When all of this current Covid craziness first reared its ugly head (well, for us anyway) back in February, it seemed like a bit of an inconvenience to business as usual. It then grew into a giant pain in the ass. Then it became a nightmare, the stuff that keeps you awake at 3am wondering if you have a will in place. I moved very quickly from a space of dismissal, to incredulity to full-blown fear. My personal take on fear is that ‘that’s not for me’ or ‘I can beat that’ so I quickly countered the fear with a PLAN - I would take the time that had been handed to me forcibly - away from my work which is my entire heart and soul - and I would continue to create, despite it all, I would rise above and keep myself busy filling a need for others, yes!! Surely there were people out there who, faced with the prospect of being stuck indoors with nothing to do, would want to learn some new skills that I could teach, or have questions I could answer?? And there was my escape plan - I would make myself BUSY. And so far I have done everything except that.

I now think that being busy is part of the problem as to why we’re here now. No, I’m not going to lurch into a political rant here. I’m not pretending to know a damn thing. But I know that what makes me really good at my work is that I allow myself to FEEL very deeply. I feel other people’s emotions. It took me a LOOOONG time to own that, and even longer to be able to say it without feeling incredibly uncomfortable. But there it is. I allow myself to feel it all, and in the studio, it’s what lets me get inside of people’s real, authentic space and see their insecurities and hold that tension for them so that they can let down their guard so I can capture the real moments that happen within. But my superpower is also my Achille’s Heel. I have spent the last two weeks diving in and out of the deep end of feeling absolutely everything to numbing myself so I don’t have to feel anything. And after doing this for a while, here’s what I’ve brought back with me…

We’ve been so busy keeping ourselves so busy with the deadlines at work, with choosing between 6 different varieties of tomato sauce, and with what’s happening on that reality show or falling down the scroll-hole of other people’s social media lives - that we’ve stopped paying attention to our back garden. Our country. Our life. Our planet. Yesterday I read that the Himalayan mountains were visible from Jaipur for the first time in over 30 years, and that there’ve been dolphins seen in the canals of Venice - because we’ve all just STOPPED.

Surely if we allow ourselves - outside of our regular work and distractions - to simply stop and really FEEL the affects of destroying our forests, of climate change, of over-population, of the imbalance in our society where 1% hoard billions while others starve - we can no longer accept all this as the small part of ‘business as usual’ that we give our left-over attention to at the end of our very busy day.

I’ve seen lots of posts on social media saying about how now’s the perfect time to do that course, up-skill, write that book, learn a language. And hey, you do you. That really appealed to me at first. But now I think I want to do the exact opposite. I want to slow down. Be still. Sit, look, listen and feel. Breathe it all in. Go inside myself and ask how I can really live in a way that serves not just my own ambitions and desires and agenda’s, but that truly helps to create the world I dream of living in. The one I want my children to inherit, one where they have a chance to grow and thrive and enjoy.

I’ve been photographing people for over 20 years. Us photographers are a funny bunch, we’re drawn in to other people’s stories, and come into people’s lives at very intimate times - when there’s huge amounts of growth, when they’re joining their lives together in marriage, when they’re creating a new family, when that family is growing and changing, when they’re going through transformational change, and when they’re experiencing crushing losses. Thats where we come in. We tell the story of that time in pictures, anchor those memories of that moment in something real, raw and beautiful to be visited again and again. Over all that time, witnessing all those stories, outside of age and race and culture, I can tell you that ALL of us want the same things - safety for our families and the people we love, a sense of purpose and value in this life, and to truly be seen. Normally, these things get a lower listing behind the bigger priorities of deadlines, decisions and ‘everyday life’, but now our everyday life looks very, very different.

I can’t imagine what will come after this. Currently the talk is that we’ll all be on lockdown until November, and I’m struggling to imagine the reality of that, let alone what it will look like when things ‘go back to normal’. Maybe this is the chance to re-define what parts of normal we actually want to go back to.

I miss my work. I miss my studio. I miss hearing the stories of the people I get to create with, we’re not made for social isolation, and my normal is to go deep, I detest small talk and splashing in the shallow end. If you’ve read this far, I guess you know that about me by now. I am so incredibly GRATEFUL to be in a safe, beautiful space surrounded by my family and for all the things we have at our disposal - it’s a level of luxury (oh, the absolute decadence of perpetually fully stocked grocery shelves!!) that I’m sure we none of us will take for granted ever again. And I’m sure the time will come that I’ll want to be busy again, and I’ll be itching to create something new and different, but that time isn't now, and I’m going to be patient and kind to myself in allowing this jumble of feelings and knowings to have its way with me. I’m choosing not to be busy right now, not to show up for anyone other than me, to give myself permission to feel it all, the horror and the confusion and the quiet and the loneliness… I’m going to learn more about not being distracted by being busy, and instead simply BE.

And when the desire returns to create, and get busy, I think it will come from somewhere much deeper, and truer in intention.

However you’re currently handling this shit-show, please be kind to yourself. There are no ‘shoulds’ anymore, we get to make new rules and we’ve got time to think on exactly what that can look like. Let’s dare to dream of creating a way of living that is truly, unapologetically beautiful 🖤

Sending love to you all, stay sane keep well, hang in there…. Here’s hoping I’ll see you again real soon.

With love & light, Fiona xx

Phoenix Rising - flames, cancer and lots of heart. So 2020, here you are.

January 23, 2020

And just like that, January is almost gone…

Every year it starts the same - the collective sigh of relief that Christmas is done, the blur of days leading up to New Years when it’s perfectly acceptable to drink cocktails in the morning and no one seems to know or care what day it is, then the fireworks, the resolutions and the targeted ads in your inbox for your local gym and fitness centre. If you’re lucky, you carve out a bit of time away, although holidays with very young children can feel more like an endurance marathon at times, same challenges as at home, but with less convenience.

This is generally how it goes for us too. We normally camp at Straddie if we can, take some time to decompress, carve out some goals for the year ahead, and simply just BE. It’s a beautiful thing.

Except this year, for us, and most folks I know, it’s gone a little differently.

If you weren’t personally affected by the fires, you know and love someone who is. Or, just simply couldn’t escape the daily devastation as shown across all forms of media. It felt almost callous to be thinking of a relaxing holiday when folks - and so, SO many animals - were literally fighting just to survive.

We spent our ‘down time’ moving house. Yet again. My husband Mark calculated that it’s our 12th move over 3 international destinations in the last 10 years. To say we’re both expert level packers and movers and So. Incredibly. Over. It. simultaneously is an epic understatement. *sigh* But, we are now in a place that truly feels like us. That works for our family in a way that our previous homes haven’t and that is surrounded by the most glorious garden full of mature trees and wildlife that my forest-dwelling fairy-soul loves completely. We are home.

And, just last week, my Mum had surgery to remove both her breasts to stop the spread of her cancer.

I’ve seen the ravages of this surgery before. I’ve heard from the too-many warrior women who’ve come through my studio about their experience through this fire. I always proclaimed that come the day I should be diagnosed, my choice would be for this surgery, and my life ahead. Damn the scars and the ravages of war.

It is one thing to think that in an academic, far-off, one-day kinda way. It is something else entirely to see your own mother recovering from this surgery. With a body that is foreign, unfamiliar and so obviously wearing the affects of what can only be described as violence. And, the really shitty thing is, we ALL know this woman.

I love being a woman. I love my body (it’s a work in progress, but I’m learning every day and I’m damn thankful for what I’ve got) and I love my breasts. I don’t ever want to be in the situation where I have to choose this surgery to save my life. And I don’t want that for my daughter, or yours. For any of us.

I want to do something. Something to both raise money for this cause, and to help women see, love and celebrate their bodies more, now. In all their imperfect perfection.

I’m putting together something where - in exchange for a donation to a particular breast cancer charity that operates here locally - I will give my time and expertise in the form of a photoshoot and imagery. I would love to create this as an opportunity where women who’ve always wanted to step into a space of self-love and self-confidence can have the kind of shoot where maybe the focus is on loving, accepting and celebrating their body. I haven’t nutted out the details yet, this is all new, but I’m working on it now.

If you know of anyone who I should reach out to to help put this together, PLEASE drop me a line.

Mum is doing ok. I think it will be a long road ahead to approach healing, acceptance and peace. Through it all, I see strength. I see hope. I see love.

Part of my bent in being a photographer is that I want to truly see people. I detest small talk, I want to go deep. I want to know people’s stories, and not just the highlights reel. I connect easily with those who’ve been through their fair share of shit and popped out the other side all the wiser for it.

In everything I do, and in all the challenges that come my way, I seek the lesson. And I think that - for me - this January has been about the Phoenix, rising from the literal ashes.

Our nation, though hurt, has grown closer. We are one. The flames have burnt away old ways of thinking and doing and being, and will hopefully allow new growth to take its place. Let the rains continue to heal our land.

My family has seen big changes too, and we are stronger for it, closer and more appreciative of all we have. There’s nothing like loss to show you how to be grateful.

I wanted this space to be a place of stories, and inspiration and beauty. I’m not sure how this very first entry qualifies, except to say that now you know a bit more about my story. And if you’re here, reading along, then we’re in a space together where I can say - please love your body. Love your home. Call your Mum. Let the ‘clean slate’ mentality of January serve to shift your focus to all that you already have. Us girls are terribly hard on ourselves, let’s try instead to rise from the ashes of our old ways, and emerge a new bird, freer and lighter (and more beautiful for it) than before.

with Love & Light, Fiona xx